silly love(written by me)

[SEES]

look guys its the first time that i try to write sth like this in english
i know that its not long
but i hope that u will like it



long time away
there was a time to play
with my darling on the highway
but everything dissapeared like a fast weel
and my darling went away
then i realized that there is no time to play
and it became like a silly caprice in my way

[Jehad]

good !

Go on !

* can you correct (weel) ?
* What does long time away mean in litrature ?

[Big brotheR]

a good one, SEES. and it is not silly. gimme five or ten and i will comment on it

[SEES]

i just named it silly love,i didnt mean that its silly or what do u think?i know that i need more effort to work on a good one

[auguries of innoc]

very good Sees. I t is a good poem. well I think that if you did not meant to call love silly then you should not call the poem so. because I thought that you meant love it self. so if you changed the title to some thing more close to what you want to say it will be much better. I think

[Eng. Sameer]

that's magnificent.
heyyyy jojo can you write like this????
i will show my writes coming sooooon.

[Big brotheR]

Originally Posted by SEES

look guys its the first time that i try to write sth like this in english
i know that its not long
but i hope that u will like it



long time away
there was a time to play
with my darling on the highway
but everything dissapeared like a fast weel
and my darling went away
then i realized that there is no time to play
and it became like a silly caprice in my way

a good try SEES and good start. Poetry is not that easy, and for yu to begin writing poetry is great!!

the title tells of an emotional experience the poet underwent. This experience is not tragic nor is it happy. It is silly. And if we look at the last line, it also includes the word silly emphasising the emotional status of the poet! To me, this tells something of the poet's background. He/she is a teenager, first-time in love, confused, happy and sad, worried and exicted...

the poet talks about two phases in his/her life. Phase one, when he, she was playful and careless to life's troubles(love included). In a word, he/she was carefree. This period of time was spent with the soulmate, together they played, laughed, cried.... Yet, time changes and the once sweet lover is suddenly gone! No reason is mentioned. Still, the poet is in love 'my darling'. And he/she lives hoping to meet again spending most of the time thinking of the past sweet, precious moments which he/she desrcibe as a caprice change. Confused, the poet insists on describing it as 'silly'.

the poem needs more effort. And i advise you to read as many poems as possible, so that you learn new techniques and try to apply them

go ahead and keep practising