I Try to See But I am Blind.

[Eng. Sameer]

I open my eyes I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how I can’t remember why
I’m laying here tonight and I can’t stand the pain and I can’t make it go away no I can’t stand the pain how could this happen at me
I made my mistakes got no way to run the life goes on as I’m fitting away I’m sick up this life I just wanna scream
How could this happen at me …
Every body screaming I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m sleeping at the edge I’m hanging by a thread
So….. I tried to hold on to a time when nothing matter
Than I can explain what happened and I can race the things that
I’ve done.
No I can’t ….
How could this happen at me I’ve made my mistakes got no way to run the life goes on as I’m fitten away
I’m sick up this life …….
I just wanna scream...How could this happen at me
(I’ve made my mistakes got no way to run the life goes on as I’m fitten away I’m sick up this life I just wanna scream
How could this happen at me

[auguries of innoc]

Hi Semsem I missed you alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllllllllll
what a wonderful poem
you're a poet man I has a deep meaning and a very suggestive title. It attracted my attention at once. It is strang at the beginning but once you read it as a whole it turns to be very good.
Anyway, you have to take care to grammar, punctiuation.
some lines need to be split to two lines like for example,
I’m laying here tonight and I can’t stand the pain and I can’t make it go away no I can’t stand the pain how could this happen at me
you could split it in to:
I’m laying here tonight
and I can’t stand the pain
and[ ommit and] I can’t make it go away
no I can’t stand the pain
how could this happen at [needs to be revised]me

but I loved it so much Semsem
you are a poet indeed:11umbup: :11umbup:

[Big brotheR]

oh, good try, bro!!!

i will try to comment later

[Eng. Sameer]

heeeey Mr. Auguries of innoc, i didn't write this poem.My classmate wrote it.
i'm sorry, i forgot to tell you.

[auguries of innoc]

Semsem where is that friend of you
can't you invite him to the forum. it seems that he love english and he is realy clever tell him that he wrote a wonderful poem

[wafa]

Brother.Don`t be sad or emparassed ! but try to live in this life and know what the good road to walk in........ Also make use of your mistakes.
This is my advice to you.

[hesham]

nice semsem ,
but tell me ur really now blind ????

thnx

[SnOw G!rL]

thanx semsem
nice poem
i am with AI u should invite him