let's translate these "Short Statements, phrases, Clauses..."

[Big brotheR]

this new thread will be dedicated to working on the translation of a chosen texts.

Let's choose very short texts.

[Big brotheR]

lemm start with this

For eyes, which roll towards all, weep not, but sweat.

[Big brotheR]

get close to a good translation and get 17 points!

[Mumen]

and get 17 points!

Oh Well :D

shall i Celebrate with 1000 Posts to feel so with 17 :D

[Mumen]

lemm start with this

For eyes, which roll towards all, weep not, but sweat.


Brb

[Big brotheR]

Oh Well :D

shall i Celebrate with 1000 Posts to feel so with 17 :D

:p

[haya]

nice idea mr bb

i'll try to find time to work on this

[cute angel]

do you mean translation into Arabic?????

[Big brotheR]

yep

[cute angel]

a strange sentence


For eyes, which roll towards all, weep not, but sweat.

من أجل العيون التي تلتف حول الجميع لا تبكي بل تعرق بمعنى اعمل لجعلها لا تبكي مجددا

[Big brotheR]

try again

[SnOw G!rL]

lemm start with this

For eyes, which roll towards all, weep not, but sweat.


her tears are not real, but counterfeit - she does not weep for him, but sweats because she is rolling her eyes at everyone

بالنسبة لهذه العيون , التي تتجه الى اي شخص , انها لا تبكي بل فقط تتعرق من هذا التحرك/الاتجاه

[Big brotheR]

her tears are not real, but counterfeit - she does not weep for him, but sweats because she is rolling her eyes at everyone

بالنسبة لهذه العيون , التي تتجه الى اي شخص , انها لا تبكي بل فقط تتعرق من هذا التحرك/الاتجاه


much closer

can you work on it and improve it; I mean making it sound more Arabic and more poetic.

btw, i liked your method i.e. analysing and understanding the source text before translating!

good

[ROOON]

For eyes, which roll towards all, weep not, but sweat
I will translate the meaning only

لهؤلاء الناس الذين يهتمون للكل و لا يتذمرون بل يتعرقون
is it good sir ????

[Ismail]

for eyes, which roll towards all, weep not, but sweat.

لا تنخدع من هذه الدموع فهي ليست صادقة ,بل هي مجهدة من كثرة تحريك العيون...بمعني "دموع تماسيح"

يعني الواحد لما يحرك عينيه كتير بيتعبن وبتدمع عيونه ,لا تفكرها عيون من اثر البكاء.

استمر يا استاذ رفعت واعتبرني عضو دائم في هذا الموضوع :d



سلام

[Big brotheR]

For eyes, which roll towards all, weep not, but sweat
I will translate the meaning only

لهؤلاء الناس الذين يهتمون للكل و لا يتذمرون بل يتعرقون
is it good sir ????


why did you use 'people' for 'eyes'?

[Big brotheR]

لا تنخدع من هذه الدموع فهي ليست صادقة ,بل هي مجهدة من كثرة تحريك العيون...بمعني "دموع تماسيح"

يعني الواحد لما يحرك عينيه كتير بيتعبن وبتدمع عيونه ,لا تفكرها عيون من اثر البكاء.

استمر يا استاذ رفعت واعتبرني عضو دائم في هذا الموضوع :d



سلام

i like your translation. You got something very important which is the idea of 'deception'. But we want a translation not an explanation!

[alla*]

lemm start with this

For eyes, which roll towards all, weep not, but sweat.


نلك العيون التي ترقب كل ما حولها لا تدمع ولكن تتعب فقط

what do u think?

[Matrix]

For eyes, which roll towards all, weep not, but sweat

this line is taken from "Love's Diet" by : John Donne..

من راقب الناس مات هماً

I hope i did it in the best way..

[Big brotheR]

نلك العيون التي ترقب كل ما حولها لا تدمع ولكن تتعب فقط

what do u think?

i agree, you have trouble with endings. Your beginning is powerful though.

[Big brotheR]

this line is taken from "Love's Diet" by : John Donne..

من راقب الناس مات هماً

I hope i did it in the best way..


i like your method, trying to find an equivalent. I am trying to find one myself.

this one does not grasp the meaning of the original text

[ROOON]

I chose people because they are the ones who care or not .... it's people who serve us and care for us
is there any thing else for eyes sir ?? any thing else cares ??
you didn't tell me how my translation is ....
am waiting sir

[Big brotheR]

to make it clearer

this is the poem from which the line is taken

http://www.iopal.net/forum/showthread.php?t=3808


line 18

[Matrix]

this one does not grasp the meaning of the original text

thank u alot for notyfing ,but i was trying

[ROOON]

aah
لان العيوون التي تتجه للجمعيع لا تبكي بل تتعرق
is it like fake tears sir ?

[Big brotheR]

trying is the best way to learn.

Thanks matrix.

[Big brotheR]

trying is the best way to learn.

Thanks matrix.

[ROOON]

wt about mine siiiiiiiiiiiiiir ????????

[the other one]

hi
i have to confess that i didnt read any analyses about this poem
but i can guess the meaning or the general idea as the following
those eyes are looking at all things around and they become very tired
hence they sweat but not cry
i donna, am i right ?
و ما الذرف في هذى العيون بكاء **** بل ماء جهد ءاثر جد حراك
او اثر تفحص وحراك
و ان كنت اميل الى الاولى

[Big brotheR]

i am speechless!!

[Big brotheR]

50 points for you, sir

[alla*]

hi
i have to confess that i didnt read any analyses about this poem
but i can guess the meaning or the general idea as the following
those eyes are looking at all things around and they become very tired
hence they sweat but not cry
i donna, am i right ?
و ما الذرف في هذى العيون بكاء **** بل ماء جهد ءاثر جد حراك
او اثر تفحص وحراك
و ان كنت اميل الى الاولى

amazing

[Big brotheR]

now after granting 'the other one' 50 points, let's move to another thing to translate


"happy are the dead!
What peace doth now
Rock him asleep below!"

[Big brotheR]

this is the whole poem



I Walk’d the Other Day
BY HENRY VAUGHAN

I walk’d the other day, to spend my hour,
Into a field,
Where I sometimes had seen the soil to yield
A gallant flow’r;
But winter now had ruffled all the bow’r
And curious store
I knew there heretofore.

Yet I, whose search lov’d not to peep and peer
I’ th’ face of things,
Thought with my self, there might be other springs
Besides this here,
Which, like cold friends, sees us but once a year;
And so the flow’r
Might have some other bow’r.

Then taking up what I could nearest spy,
I digg’d about
That place where I had seen him to grow out;
And by and by
I saw the warm recluse alone to lie,
Where fresh and green
He liv’d of us unseen.

Many a question intricate and rare
Did I there strow;
But all I could extort was, that he now
Did there repair
Such losses as befell him in this air,
And would ere long
Come forth most fair and young.

This past, I threw the clothes quite o’er his head;
And stung with fear
Of my own frailty dropp’d down many a tear
Upon his bed;
Then sighing whisper’d, “happy are the dead!
What peace doth now
Rock him asleep below!”

And yet, how few believe such doctrine springs
From a poor root,
Which all the winter sleeps here under foot,
And hath no wings
To raise it to the truth and light of things;
But is still trod
By ev’ry wand’ring clod.

O Thou! whose spirit did at first inflame
And warm the dead,
And by a sacred incubation fed
With life this frame,
Which once had neither being, form, nor name;
Grant I may so
Thy steps track here below,

That in these masques and shadows I may see
Thy sacred way;
And by those hid ascents climb to that day,
Which breaks from Thee,
Who art in all things, though invisibly!
Shew me thy peace,
Thy mercy, love, and ease,

And from this care, where dreams and sorrows reign,
Lead me above,
Where light, joy, leisure, and true comforts move
Without all pain;
There, hid in thee, shew me his life again,
At whose dumb urn
Thus all the year I mourn.

[the other one]

ok
this is a quick response
طبعا بس اضطريت اخد شوية من البيت اللي قبليه
لعمري ان الميْت لفي هناء **** فذا ما تكن به الروح وتهمسه
و الا فما القول في نوم مريح **** يهز له الامان لينعسه

[the other one]

او
و ليت الفتى يسعد بالحياة **** سعادة ميت تحت التراب
تهز له الارائك في ظلال **** لينعم امنا في تلك الرحاب

[Big brotheR]

As the tape played, Jackson's mother, Katherine, who has attended court with her son during every day, wept.


let's translate it

[Waleed Sultan]

لقد بدأت بالبكاء الشديد بمجرد دخول أم جاكسون وكاترين لقاعة المحكمة وهم يحملون ابنها.

mmmm

do not comment any thing, I am very very tired, and I need some sleeping, too.


this is my " QUICK" translation. is it good or not?

[Big brotheR]

try again

[أبو عمر]

As the tape played, Jackson's mother, Katherine, who has attended court with her son during every day, wept.


حينما تم تشغيل الشريط ، بكت كاترين أم جاكسون التي حضرت المحاكمة مع ابنها بشكل يومي

[Big brotheR]

very close!

[Waleed Sultan]

ok Sir.

might you post your translation?

this one has confussed me so.:(

[SnOw G!rL]

As the tape played, Jackson's mother, Katherine, who has attended court with her son during every day, wept.

بكت كاثرين ام جاكسون والتي كانت تحضر المحكمة يوميا , بمجرد تشغيل الشريط
how is mine ?
i followed Translation rules :D for the first time after exams :D

[Waleed Sultan]

As the tape played, Jackson's mother, Katherine, who has attended court with her son during every day, wept.


may I say the following?



لقد بكت كاترين "أم جاكسون" بكاءا شديداّ عندما تم تشغيل الكاسيت, وذلك أثناء وجود ابنها في قاعة المحكمة.

[Big brotheR]

you added some stuff and changed the meaning

[Waleed Sultan]

ok Sir. you can post your translation...

[cute angel]

As the tape played, Jackson's mother, Katherine, who has attended court with her son during every day, wept.

حينما اشتغل الشريط ام جاكسون "كاثرين" التي حضرت المحكمة مع ابنها اثناء كل يوم ,بكت.

A try"

[Waleed Sultan]

As the tape played, Jackson's mother, Katherine, who has attended court with her son during every day, wept.

حينما اشتغل الشريط ام جاكسون "كاثرين" التي حضرت المحكمة مع ابنها اثناء كل يوم ,بكت.

A try"

I think it is liner (literal) translation... is not it ? :rolleyes:

[cute angel]

word by word

[Waleed Sultan]

yes...

[Big brotheR]

And is this my city? Are these the ruins
On which was inscribed: “Long live life!”
With the blood of its slain?

[Mr.Moudy]

هل هذه مدينتي؟؟؟؟!!!!!!!
هل هذه الخرابة هي التي كتبت فيها عبارة "صامدة أبد الدهر" ؟؟؟؟!!!!!
بعد كل هذه الدماء التي لا تزال تسيل والخراب !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Big brotheR]

hmm

u missed the point in lines 2 & 3

[Waleed Sultan]

hmmmm, shall I try? :D


And is this my city? Are these the ruins
On which was inscribed: “Long live life!”
With the blood of its slain?

وهل هذه هي المدينة التي أقيم بها؟ وهل هذا هو الخراب؟
.الذي كتب عليه: "تحيا الحياة!", بالرغم من كل هذه الدماء التي أُسفِكت ولا تزال

This is first attempt, how it is, Sir. ?

[Big brotheR]

v ery good

still you missed the meaning in the last phrase

[Waleed Sultan]

but I think this is the nearest translation, Sir.

[Mr.Moudy]

mmmmm
let me try again, after i my friend Waleed try, so let me borrow some of his translation.

هل هذه هي مدينتي؟!!!
هل هذا الخراب الذي كتبت عليه عبارة :"تحيا الحياة" بدماء الفرحة والبهجة؟؟!!!! :o

[Waleed Sultan]

ok. thanks, my pal

what do you think sir. ?

[Big brotheR]

" بدماء الفرحة والبهجة؟؟

you missed the point here!

what does 'slain' mean?

[Mo7amed]

okay! i have never tried to translate.

وهل هذه مدينتــــي ؟ هل هذه مدينتي ؟ هذا الحطام والخراب والدمار ؟هذا ما نقش عليه بدماء ضحاياه " فــلتحيا الحيــــــــاة ! " كيف ؟

[Nour]

just a try

هل هذه مدينتي ؟
هل هي هذا الحطام الذي نُقش عليه بدماء الشهداء " فلتحيا الحياة "؟
:confused:

[Mr.Moudy]

For eyes, which roll towards all, weep not, but sweat.
لآجلك أيتها العيون التى تسعى لإسعاد الجميع لا تبكي بل إنني سافعل ما بوسعي من أجل رد الجميل:)


i love trying although i committ mistakes usually, some call them big mistakes, but i never care in order to learn

[Big brotheR]

good mr. moudy and nour


'slain' is the past participle of(here functioning as an adjective) 'slay'. it means here "1 literary or N.Amer. kill.
"

[Mr.Moudy]

thanks very much, i just get confused

[Mo7amed]

what about me? :confused:

[Big brotheR]

okay! i have never tried to translate.

وهل هذه مدينتــــي ؟ هل هذه مدينتي ؟ هذا الحطام والخراب والدمار ؟هذا ما نقش عليه بدماء ضحاياه " فــلتحيا الحيــــــــاة ! " كيف ؟

you got the essence but why did you play with the structure?

[Mo7amed]

hard luck Suliman

Promising Start :D

Seems I'm going to fail in translation1

[Nour]

ops u see it
:D
don't worry
u'll pass it trust me !! :D

[Mo7amed]

are u sure? :D

[Waleed Sultan]

Ok. another statement :

Tow Palestinians were bar for a plot to poison Ramat Gan diners.

[Matrix]

ok. Another statement :

tow palestinians were bar for a plot to poison ramat gan diners.

تم توقيف فلسطينين لمحاولتهم تسميم عشاء رامات غان

او

ايقاف فلسطينين بتهمة التامر لدس السم فى عشاء رامات غان

[Matrix]

The first one is free translating !!

The second one is Dynamic one !

[Waleed Sultan]

Amazing, Matrix :)

you can put another short stetement to be translated :)

[che]

could any body tell me who is doing what to whom down here ?
?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????
am totaly off cours

[Waleed Sultan]

Translate this:

The USA escalets Mosco, and provocation relationship between Ukrania and Poland.

[NoOoR]

i dont think i will do a good job here , but i will try

تصاعد حدة العلاقة بين موسكو والولايات المتحدة ، وايضا عمليات الاستفزاز و التحرش تصاعدت بين كل من اوكرانيا وبولاندا

i think its totally wrong

[Waleed Sultan]

i dont think i will do a good job here , but i will try
I am sure that you will do great!

تصاعد حدة العلاقة بين موسكو والولايات المتحدة ، وايضا عمليات الاستفزاز و التحرش تصاعدت بين كل من اوكرانيا وبولاندا
COMPLETELY RIGHT! (6:)
but, delete the wordتحرش since the word استفزاز conveys the meaning!(4:)


i think its totally wrong
and I think you exceeded my expectations! Since it is better than mine! (2:)

GREAT JOB, HaZaR! (37:)

[NoOoR]

I am sure that you will do great!

COMPLETELY RIGHT! (6:)
but, delete the wordتحرش since the word استفزاز conveys the meaning!(4:)

now i cant edit it

and I think you exceeded my expectations! Since it is better than mine! (2:)

GREAT JOB, HaZaR! (37:)

thanks (37:)(37:)

[Flowers]

And is this my city? Are these the ruins
On which was inscribed: “Long live life!”
With the blood of its slain?

hello ,sir
Ithink it takes about fateh and hamas and how they make the city which inscribed *long live life* to become ruins . Iam right ?(8:)

Sir do u mean by *slain * fateh and hamas ?(32:)

[Seema]

hello ,sir
Ithink it takes about fateh and hamas and how they make the city which inscribed *long live life* to become ruins . Iam right ?(8:)

Sir do u mean by *slain * fateh and hamas ?(32:)

(4:)lollol(7:)

[Big brotheR]

no

[Flowers]

no

Hello , sir
u coment to wat I did by *no* :o

Can u give us abrife background about the writer and why he write it
bec i think its important to know what is go on in that time to got the massege . Iam right ?(27:)(9:)

[Flowers]

hi
i have to confess that i didnt read any analyses about this poem
but i can guess the meaning or the general idea as the following
those eyes are looking at all things around and they become very tired
hence they sweat but not cry
i donna, am i right ?
و ما الذرف في هذى العيون بكاء **** بل ماء جهد ءاثر جد حراك
او اثر تفحص وحراك
و ان كنت اميل الى الاولى

hi sir , hi every body

i like this trnslation so (4:)(4:)(4:) the other one

actualy , i found sth special and i want to share its from al motanaby poems
اذا اشتبهت دموع فى خدود تبين من بكى ممن تباكى
Is it convey the same massege or ?(9:)

[Waleed Sultan]

رمال الأسى: فلم وثائقي مهم صور أوضاع اللاجئين الفلسطينيين بعد حدوث النكبة.

Sand of Sadness is an important documentary film, depicts conditions \ circumstances \ plight of Palestinian refugees immediately after the catastrophe (Al-Nakba) -which is a bloody attack by Jewish gangs against Palestinian villages and their people and they occupied the territories-

[Waleed Sultan]

رمال الأسى: فلم وثائقي مهم صور أوضاع اللاجئين الفلسطينيين بعد حدوث النكبة.

Sand of Sadness is an important documentary film, depicts conditions \ circumstances \ plight of Palestinian refugees immediately after the catastrophe (Al-Nakba) -which is a bloody attack by Jewish gangs against Palestinian villages and their people and they occupied the territories-