mona abdul
02-01-2006, 01:53 PM
Develop Self-Esteem.
A feeling of positive self-worth can be developed over time with the following six steps:
1. Identify and fulfill your needs.
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Determine the changes you want in your life. These changes can be in a relationship, your job, your social life, your feelings, your attitudes, etc. Choose the changes YOU want, not those changes someone wants for you.
Once you have identified your needs, be persistent in the quest to fulfill them. Keep trying until your needs are fulfilled. You can ask others for help, but you are in charge here and you are the person who has to make certain your needs are fulfilled!
2. YOU approve of you.
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Self-approval is lasting! When you approve your actions, your feelings, and your thoughts, you build healthy self-esteem that no one can take away from you. When you seek approval from others, however, you lose control over that aspect of your life.
Appreciate your own effort; don't wait for others to approve you. Give yourself a hug, a pat on the back, a gold star, a hug, and more!
3. Share experiences.
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Journaling helps you share your experiences with you.
Keep a journal for seven to ten days to identify your needs. Note what makes you feel positive and what makes you feel negative. At the end of that time, review the journal to identify unmet needs.
After you begin having successes and realize that you can change, keep a journal of your successes.
Choose a supportive friend or relative and tell your friend what you have done. Explain that you are not looking or expecting their approval or disapproval; you merely want them to listen to you from time to time.
Notice the feelings that are aroused, though, as you say positive things about yourself.
4. Review your successes.
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Another reason to keep a success journal is to have a "success review" from time to time. Going back to past successes is excellent for self-encouragement.
5. Jump off the treadmill
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When you have low self-esteem, you are like an animal on a treadmill, racing endlessly to get away from your own criticisms, while racing toward unrealistic and perfectionistic goals.
Yet all you need to do to build self-esteem is jump off the treadmill and believe you are good enough; you are deserving; you are capable; you are lovable.
6. Get in touch with feelings.
-----------------------------
If you were taught to repress your feelings in the past, you eventually lost touch with them. Therefore, you must learn to express those feelings now, even though it might be risky.
The above six steps will lead you to self-esteem.
Development is change. Change is uncomfortable. That is why you often wait for life to knock you down before you change.
Yet signs of needing to change appear in the form of small hurts and irritations.
If you start to change yourself when these irritations and hurts are small, you start to build self-esteem and open new options for your life
A feeling of positive self-worth can be developed over time with the following six steps:
1. Identify and fulfill your needs.
-------------------------------------
Determine the changes you want in your life. These changes can be in a relationship, your job, your social life, your feelings, your attitudes, etc. Choose the changes YOU want, not those changes someone wants for you.
Once you have identified your needs, be persistent in the quest to fulfill them. Keep trying until your needs are fulfilled. You can ask others for help, but you are in charge here and you are the person who has to make certain your needs are fulfilled!
2. YOU approve of you.
------------------------
Self-approval is lasting! When you approve your actions, your feelings, and your thoughts, you build healthy self-esteem that no one can take away from you. When you seek approval from others, however, you lose control over that aspect of your life.
Appreciate your own effort; don't wait for others to approve you. Give yourself a hug, a pat on the back, a gold star, a hug, and more!
3. Share experiences.
-------------------------
Journaling helps you share your experiences with you.
Keep a journal for seven to ten days to identify your needs. Note what makes you feel positive and what makes you feel negative. At the end of that time, review the journal to identify unmet needs.
After you begin having successes and realize that you can change, keep a journal of your successes.
Choose a supportive friend or relative and tell your friend what you have done. Explain that you are not looking or expecting their approval or disapproval; you merely want them to listen to you from time to time.
Notice the feelings that are aroused, though, as you say positive things about yourself.
4. Review your successes.
-------------------------
Another reason to keep a success journal is to have a "success review" from time to time. Going back to past successes is excellent for self-encouragement.
5. Jump off the treadmill
--------------------------
When you have low self-esteem, you are like an animal on a treadmill, racing endlessly to get away from your own criticisms, while racing toward unrealistic and perfectionistic goals.
Yet all you need to do to build self-esteem is jump off the treadmill and believe you are good enough; you are deserving; you are capable; you are lovable.
6. Get in touch with feelings.
-----------------------------
If you were taught to repress your feelings in the past, you eventually lost touch with them. Therefore, you must learn to express those feelings now, even though it might be risky.
The above six steps will lead you to self-esteem.
Development is change. Change is uncomfortable. That is why you often wait for life to knock you down before you change.
Yet signs of needing to change appear in the form of small hurts and irritations.
If you start to change yourself when these irritations and hurts are small, you start to build self-esteem and open new options for your life